THREE AYES AND FOUR NAYS

Vol 2 No 25 THEO'S DEVOS 062608

1 Corinthians 13 4-6 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. NLT

In our verses today we must note an important aspect of the word love. It is the Greek word: agape. This is the word used exclusively to describe God's love and it would help to define it before we go further. One of the best definitions I have seen to describe agape love is: 'a commitment of the will to cherish and uphold another person ' It is not a feeling, it is a commitment. Please bear that in mind as we go through this chapter. In order to differentiate between true and false love we need to focus on the right things and feelings are just not in view here.

Notice that love is three things: patient, kind and honest. The three negatives are descriptions of those things that hinder the positives mentioned. Patience is biblically explained as something to be developed and most of us are just not patent people. Imagine being with someone and finding that patience is a natural part of your relationship with that person. Where you may be impatient in many ways, when with this person, patience just doesn't seem hared to come by. Love produces that kins of ability.

Kindness is in view here as well. Looking forward to being kind toward the object of your affection, as a normal desire is also an element of true love. To not have to make yourself be kind but to just have it emanate from your personality when that other person is in the room is another aspect of true love.

Are you an honest person? Do you feel comfortable being totally honest with the person you say that you love? Where love exists, true love that is, honesty is not difficult at all. To be transparent to that person is a normal desire of your heart. In most relationships, honesty is hard to come by. To truly love is to trust enough to willingly open all to them. That ability to be honest is extremely rare however and it is one of the reasons why true love is also very rare.

These verses also lay out four negative attributes as well, and where they exist, true love languishes. Jealousy, boastfulness, pride and rudeness are the enemies of true love. They are destroyers, all. When they raise their heads in a person's life, lots of other things begin to suffer and the ability to love is one of the greatest. Where they exist, love does not. This is not to say that if you experience any of these in a relationship, you are not in love. It is to say that where they become a normal expression of the relationship, true love may not be there. We can often tell ourselves that we are in love and struggle with these attributes but it just may be that we are in lust and not truly in love. True love expresses itself in focusing on the other person whereas these attributes focus more on ourselves and our needs rather than the needs of the 'loved one.'

One of the biggest problems with the negatives is that they we can actually consider them fun to express. You may not want to admit it but it sometimes relieves our minds to express one or more of these negative attributes. It is rather normal, in fact, for a human to act jealous or prideful. It seems to be a strong part of our fallen nature. To overcome them really requires a spiritual heart operation that only God can perform. To not act in these ways tales help from the Holy Spirit and becomes an act of love from God, through us, to someone else.

Think of someone you love. Go back and read 1 Corinthians 13 again only this time, with them in mind. Only this time, while thinking of them, replace the word 'love' with your first name and see how you feel.. If what you are experiencing is true love it will feel good to perform this experiment. If it feels awkward and difficult to do, it may tell you something about what you have been calling true love. Now remember, we are not talking about feelings here after all but they are indicators of commitments we have made. If you fail this experiment you need to have a talk with God about your circumstance and maybe confide in your pastor or other spiritual advisor. It is not the end of the world. It just might be a big step in the honest direction for you.

Theo